Born on this day!! Comedian Mort Sahl is 94. Jazz musician Carla Bley is 85. Singer Eric Burdon (The Animals, War) is 80. Actor Pam Ferris (“Call the Midwife”) is 73. Actor Shohreh Aghdashloo (“24″) is 69. Actor Frances Fisher (“Resurrection,” ″Titanic”) is 69. Actor Boyd Gaines is 68. Drummer Mark Herndon (Alabama) is 66. Former MTV VJ Martha Quinn is 62. Country singer Tim Raybon of The Raybon Brothers is 58. Actor Tim Blake Nelson (“Lincoln,” ″O Brother, Where Art Thou?”) is 57. Actor Jeffrey Donovan (TV’s “Fargo”) is 53. Bassist Keith West of Heartland is 53. Actor Nicky Katt (“Boston Public”) is 50. Actor Coby Bell (“Third Watch”) is 46. Cellist Perttu Kivilaakso of Apocalyptica is 43. Actor Austin O’Brien (“Last Action Hero”) is 40. Actor Jonathan Jackson (“Nashville,” ″Tuck Everlasting”) is 39. Rapper Ace Hood is 33. Singer Prince Royce is 32. Actor Annabelle Attanasio (“Bull”) is 28. Musician Howard Lawrence of Disclosure is 27.

THIS DAY IN GENIUS HISTORY

1858 – Minnesota became the 32nd state in the United States.
1894 – The Pullman Strike began.
1949 – Siam changed its name to Thailand.
1960 – Israeli agents captured Nazi Adolf Eichmann in Argentina.
1973 – Charges against Daniel Ellsberg for his role in the Pentagon Papers case were dismissed.
1981 – Reggae performer Bob Marley died of cancer in Miami at the age of 36.
1997 – IBM’s supercomputer, Deep Blue defeated Garry Kasparov, the reigning world champion, in a six game chess match (2 for blue, 1 for Kasparov, and 3 ties).
1998 – India set off atomic blasts.
2003 – 91% of Lithuanian voters opted to join the European Union—the first former Soviet nation to do so.

Today Is:  Eat What You Want Day, Free Cone Day, Hostess Cupcake Day, National Foam Rolling Day, Root Canal Appreciation Day

TODAY ON TV!
Primetime TV (All Times Eastern)

CBS – 8:00 – NCIS   /  9:00 – FBI  /  10:00 – FBI: Most Wanted
NBC – 8:00  – The Voice  /  9:00 – This Is Us  /  10:00 – New Amsterdam
ABC – 8:00 –  Pooch Perfect  /  9:00 – Blackish – Mixedish  /  10:00 – Big Sky
FOX – 8:00 – The Resident / 9:00 – Prodigal Son
CW – 8:00 –  Flash  /  9:00 – Supergirl

TV Talk Shows

Jimmy Fallon: Joel McHale, Thalía
Seth Meyers: Amy Adams, Stacey Abrams, Ashe
Lilly Singh: Jimmy Tatro
Conan: Michele Buteau
Watch What Happens Live: Leslie Bibb, Leah McSweeney
Live with Kelly and Ryan: Josh Duhamel, Dr. Jennifer Ashton
Ellen DeGeneres: Pink, Imagine Dragons
The Real: Bebe Rexha
Kelly Clarkson: Sara Gore, Mariska Hargitay, Aaron Tveit, Maya Rudolph

WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN’ ABOUT? Here are today’s PPM-Friendly Topics!

QUESTION: Is Bill Gates a “womanizer??” That’s what his official biographer says!! Strippers, naked pool parties, friend-of-Epstein and more!!! Bill Gates????

 

QUESTION: Why did NBC (and everyone else) DUMP THE GOLDEN GLOBES??? Turns out they’re a very, very bad organization.. and they need to get better!!!

 

QUESTION: He WASN’T in a meat grinder?? Jeff Lowe says he has an anonymous letter with the location of Carole Baskin’s missing hubby: UNDER THE HOUSE!!

 

QUESTION: Want a REALLY tough job? She applied to be a nanny for Scientologists, and reveals their demands, including that the kids NEVER be “unhappy!!!!”

 

QUESTION: Didn’t we all know that something like this was BOUND TO HAPPEN?? And this… is the most NY Post headline of the year…. so far!!!!!

“NYC teacher caught sucking topless man’s nipple during Zoom class”

Harry and Oprah To Do Mental Health Issues

Prince Harry and Oprah Winfrey have reunited to launch a show that will delve into mental health issues.  The multi-part documentary series, titled “The Me You Can’t See,” will debut on Apple TV+ on May 21 and will feature segments from athletes and stars like Lady Gaga and Glenn Close.  According to a statement released on Monday, the media mogul and the Duke of Sussex will “give honest discussions about mental health and emotional well-being while opening up about their mental health journeys and struggles.”  “Now more than ever, there is an immediate need to replace the shame surrounding mental health with wisdom, compassion, and honesty,” said Winfrey in her announcement. “Our series aims to spark that global conversation.”  Other participants will include NBA players DeMar DeRozan and Langston Galloway, Olympic boxer Virginia “Ginny” Fuchs and chef Rashad Armstead.  “The majority of us carry some form of unresolved trauma, loss, or grief, which feels — and is — very personal. Yet the last year has shown us that we are all in this together, and my hope is that this series will show there is power in vulnerability, connection in empathy, and strength in honesty,” said Harry in a statement.
********Harry’s rapper name is “MC P-Whip!!”
*******They certainly have the right cast for a mental health show!!
*****Whenever we watch shows like this, it makes us feel crazier!! Maybe it’s just us…
*****Think about it: who do you know that DOESN’T have some kind of mental problems?? Maybe it’s just the way we are!!

Adam Sandler Honored With A Milkshake

In honor of that iconic moment when 17-year-old hostess Dayanna Rodas refused to seat Adam Sandler at an IHOP in Manhasset, NY, the pancake house hopes to make amends with — or capitalize on — Sandler with their Milkshake Monday promotion.  The deal donated $1 for every IHOP milkshake purchased Monday (yesterday), up to $50,000, to the nonprofit Comedy Gives Back, which works as a financial safety net for the comedic entertainment community. Indeed, Sandler headlined their virtual Laugh Aid fund-raising event last year to support struggling comedians during the COVID-19 pandemic.  And for those fortunate enough to find themselves in Sandler’s neck of the woods, IHOP is also hosting an All-You-Can-Drink milkshakes daylong special at the chain’s 19 Long Island locations.  It all started with Rodas, who recently shared a TikTok video of IHOP security footage which appeared to show her turning away a masked Sandler, with daughter in tow, at the hostess stand. According to her retelling, she told him that he would have to wait at least 30 minutes to be seated during the rush.  Rodas told The Post, “It wasn’t until a customer walked in about 15 minutes later saying, ‘Adam Sandler was outside,’ when I realized I spoke to Adam Sandler!”
*******Now, THAT’S funny!!
******An all-you-can-drink milkshake special?? Are they tryin’ to kill somebody???
******We don’t go there anymore!! Our last Rooty-Tooty wasn’t Fresh and Fruity!!!

Royal Cartoon Delayed

HBO Max is delaying a new cartoon series mocking Britain’s royal family after the death of Queen Elizabeth II’s husband Prince Philip.  Teasers for “The Prince” — which stars Orlando Bloom voicing Prince Harry — showed the then-ailing 99-year-old Philip ashen-faced and bent over in a drawing with other royals outside Buckingham Palace.  But the series was thrown into turmoil after Philip’s death on April 9, just five days after writer-producer Gary Janetti posted a teaser clip on Instagram, the network confirmed to The Hollywood Reporter.  “We were saddened to learn of Prince Philip’s passing and will adjust plans for the series debut,” a rep for HBO Max told the outlet of the show also featuring “Game of Thrones” actress Sophie Turner.  “A new date will be announced at a later time,” the rep confirmed.  Philip’s character on the show was to be voiced by Dan Stevens. It was not immediately clear if the late royal’s character will be redrawn or if changes will be made before the show is eventually screened.
*******HBO had a rare attack of good taste???
******The director asked Orlando Bloom to “sound more ginger!!!”
******What’s wrong with showing Prince Phillip in “Royal Heaven??”

Ben Affleck Seen With JLo Again!

J Lo and Ben Affleck were at the Big Sky Resort in Montana, super close to Yellowstone National Park. They were staying at the same resort and were driving around together … Ben was driving and J Lo was riding shotgun.  They also flew out of Montana together Sunday from Bozeman, Montana to L.A. When they arrived in L.A. at the Signature Terminal at LAX, they took an SUV together and drove to her house in Bel-Air. Are they back together??  Sources say they’re just friends.  A source in Montana who spotted them tell TMZ they seemed very much like a couple.
********If they’re NOT a couple, they’re wasting a lot of time together!!!
******J Lo likes the fact that Ben is slightly smaller than A Rod! “My last boyfriend was as big as a musk ox!!!”
*****She traded a guy who was good with a bat… for Batman!!!!

Nickelback Fans Getting Catfished

Nickelback fans have had it rough.   First, they’ve had to defend their favorite band from jokesters on the internet who’ve mercilessly mocked the group for years.  Now, they’re getting catfished. Fans are being contacted by profiles pretending to be band members Chad Kroeger, Ryan Peake, Mike Kroeger and Daniel Adair. Some are looking for love; others money in the form of Bitcoin or iTunes gift cards. None of them are real, but committed supporters respond anyway, on the off chance their celebrity crush is on the other side of the screen.  It’s gotten so bad that in July, the band tweeted out a message to remind followers to keep their guard up. “Friendly reminder that the only official Nickelback Twitter account is right here, along with Mr. @TheDanielAdair,” they wrote. “Look for the blue checkmark to know it’s the real deal on all social networks. Report any accounts that are claiming otherwise.”   Queens resident Nicole Godja has been contacted by several profiles pretending to be frontman Chad Kroeger since last year, on Instagram, Facebook and Google Hangouts. She follows the band on their verified Instagram account, and was part of a Facebook fan group, where several other members have been contacted by fake accounts.
*******If people fall for Nickelback fakes, what will they do for a Bill Gates fake???

 

Ripping The Tabloids (Throughout the week, we’ll give you the stories from that weeks tabs!)
**Please Credit Publication!

Timothee Puts Bloom Back On Lily-Rose-(National Enquirer)

They broke up a year ago-but Timothee Chalamet and Lily-Rose Depp were seen in New York City shopping for high-end clothing and jewelry together just like a couple in love!  Timothee, 25, who starred in “Call Me By Your Name” and “Lady Bird,” and Johnny Depp’s daughter, Lily-Rose, 21, first became an item after starring together in the 2019 movie “The King.”

Britney Mom Rips Ex For $890G Legal Bill-(Globe)

Ya want toxic?  Britney Spears’ mother, Lynne, is livid, claiming her ex-husband Jamie’s lawyers are milking their 39-year-old superstar kid for a fortune-land even charging fees to do press and publicize themselves!  While daddy dearest fights to retain conservatorship-a.k.a. total control-over his daughter, Lynne, 65, filed court docs objecting to his legal team’s staggering $890,000 four-month bill, claiming several fees were “procedurally and substantively improper.”  Talk about a crazy family feud!  Think Jamie’s legal team will bill for their response?

Reese & Jim:  Better Together-(Us Weekly)

Reese Witherspoon and Jim Toth are sticking together through thick and thin.  While they’ve been plagued with split rumors-most recently when the actress, 45, was spotted without her wedding band days before their 10^th anniversary in March-the pair “couldn’t be stronger,” a source says.  The pandemic “has only brought them closer,” says the source, nothing Witherspoon is “enjoying these precious moments” with Toth, 51, before her filming schedule picks up again.

Another:  Wait, They Were Married??-(Star)

Paula Abdul & Emilio Estevez 1992-1994

Was he her idol?  A member of the infamous 1980s Brat Pack, the actor, 58, wooed the pop star, 58, by sending flowers to every city she traveled to.  Two years after they wed, the pair announced their separation.  In 2006, Emilio took a jab at his ex’s American Idol gig, calling it a “machine I object to,” that favors popularity over talent.

Eat Your Heart Out, J.Lo?-(Life & Style)

April 28

A-Rod is back on the market-and in fine form.  Thirteen days after officially announcing his split from Jennifer Lopez, Alex Rodriguez posted side-by-side photos of himself to Instagram to show how he’d recently streamline the “dad bod” he was rocking in 2020.  “I’ve been consistent with my workouts,” the retired MLB player wrote, “and finally put down the chips.”

Chatter-(People)

“I like to remind them that Mommy and Daddy have money, but they’re broke.”-Mila Kunis, on keeping kids Wyatt, 6, and Dimitri, 4, grounded.

“My friends and I….enacted our own version of Charlie’s Angels; never dreaming that some day I would actually become one of those Angels.”-Lucy Liu, on her iconic role.

“As far as turning 60, listen, I’m not thrilled with it, but it’s better than dead.”-George Clooney, on hitting the milestone age.

Number of the Week-(In Touch)

500K

-dollars Dr. Dre has been ordered to pay his estranged wife Nicole Young’s lawyers as part of their divorce case (but she wants a lot more!)

 

STUPID NEWS

Dracula’s Castle Is Now A Vaccination Center

Bran Castle is known as the inspiration for the vampire’s home in Bram Stoker’s novel Dracula.  But visitors during the COVID-19 pandemic are more likely to leave with puncture marks in their arms than their necks this month.  Like most of the world’s tourist attractions, the castle in Romania’s Carpathian mountains seen a drop in the number of tourists this year.  So instead, it has become a COVID-19 vaccination center.  Medical workers with bloody fang stickers on their scrubs are offering free shots of the Pfizer vaccine every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday this month.  No appointment is needed and vaccine recipients also get free entry to the castle’s exhibit of 52 medieval torture tools.
*****If the virus came from bats, how do we know it didn’t come from Dracula???
******Strangely, they’re only open at night!!!
******One of the symptoms: you start “coffin!!!”

Someone Took A Ham Sandwich Into A Vegan Joint

A cafe worker was left feeling guilty after telling a family that they couldn’t eat a ham sandwich on the premises, because it was a vegan venue.  One cafe worker has shared their shock after serving a mom who was left fuming after being told to leave because their child was eating meat.  A lot of parents do bring in food for their children while at a cafe, often because their little one has dietary issues.  Just not generally at vegan cafes, where obviously meat and dairy aren’t welcome on the premises.  The worker shared the sorry tale on Reddit, where they asked if they had acted unfairly by throwing them out.  The employee said the cafe didn’t usually let people bring in their own food but the workers did turn a blind eye on occasion for young children.
*******We know the feeling! We get offended when someone orders a salad!!!
*******This proves that veganism is a religion!!
******Remember: you are what you eat!! That kid is gonna be a ham!! His mom?? She’ll be a vegetable!!!

Couple Finds Bones In Backyard

A Las Vegas couple who wanted to build a pool to help them cool off ended up finding bones from the ice age in their backyard.  Matt Perkins said he and his husband were woken up by police on Monday after workers dug up a set of bones about five feet underground in an area where they wanted their pool built outside their home.  “It kind of freaked us out,” Perkins told the Las Vegas Review-Journal.  The officers took the bones for inspection and later determined they were too large to belong to a human.  “What we found was when they (the workers) were excavating the backyard pool, they were cutting through ice age layers of sediment and sure enough they had a skeleton of an animal,” Perkins told ABC-affiliated KTNV.  According to a Nevada paleontologist, the bones — believed to be the skeleton of a horse — were found in an area of soil that is at most 14,000 years old, dating back to Earth’s most recent ice age.  “It was an actual skeleton,” Nevada Science Center Director of Research Joshua Bonde told Las Vegas Review-Journal. “The bones were in the leg position attached to one another, which is actually really rare preservation for that area.”  He estimated the animal died between 6,000 to 9,000 years ago, and said that to be considered a fossil it would have to be at least 10,000 years old.
********We think it was Carole Baskin’s husband!!!
*******So… people “buried the bone” back then, too??
******Now we know the origin of the phrase: “I could eat a horse!!!”

 

STUFF THAT’S COOL AND VIRAL

VIDEO: CHASED BY GIANT ALLIGATOR.

VIDEO: FAT CAT BLOCKS CHASE.

VIDEO: RACCOON STUCK IN THE ROOF!!!

 

A LIST FOR TUESDAY

6 Cooking Gadgets From ’90s Infomercials We Still Want Today

Huffington Post

 

1. The Ronco Food Dehydrator

“Inventor” Ron Popeil was my infomercial king. As an elementary-aged kid who wasn’t yet old enough to have extracurriculars after school to keep me busy, I was an avid consumer of every infomercial he hosted. This food dehydrator was my No. 1 most-wanted item of all time, and this ad in particular is a pure gem ― he manages to cross-promote another Ronco product in the show’s opening when he covers up his bald spot with his signature spray-on hair product, GLH (try not to pass out):

After watching this episode, I was dying to take every ingredient in my mom’s kitchen and dry the bejeezus out of it. Bananas, strawberries, pineapples ― they’re all better dried, says Ron! I didn’t truly understand what jerky even was in the early ’90s, but Ron convinced me I needed to buy liquid smoke and make fish jerky and turkey jerky. After just 28 minutes of watching this program, I wondered why I ever ate food with moisture in it.

And the best news it that you can still buy your own modern-day Ronco dehydrator and make all the fruit leather you want ― even if your mother never let you buy it back in the ’90s (ahem, mom).

 

2. The Jack LaLanne Juicer

I became obsessed with these commercials as a child, back when it was still called the Juice Tiger. LaLanne, who lived to be 96 and was essentially the world’s first fitness influencer, claims that juicing saved his life and one would naturally deduce that juice is also responsible for his rippling muscles. As such, when I was 12 I saved up my lawn-mowing money and traded it for the hope of eternal life and muscle tone.

I was lured by the promise that I could feed the machine with frozen cantaloupe and scoop “cantaloupe sorbet” out of the pulp container (it sort of worked).

The machine’s name has since evolved into the Power Juicer and most recently the Fusion Juicer, and it’s still sold today. Sure, there are other juicers out there, but none that are endorsed by a man who towed 70 rowboats at the age of 70.

 

3. Ronco Veg-O-Matic Food Chopper

Want to see a classically ’90s infomercial dramatization? Do yourself a favor and go to the 1:00 mark of this video, when a grandma (who we’re supposed to presume is too feeble to chop a potato) absolutely smokes clumsy mom and dad, who use silly old-fashioned cutting tools in their race to chop veggies.

 

4. The SuperSnacker

This was essentially a machine that toasted sandwiches into triangular pockets, something that every college kid needs for their dorm room. But the infomercial sold it as much more.

The host, who happens to be the actual Mr. Belvedere, makes an appeal to housewives: “Does this sound familiar? You walk into your kitchen to find an invading pack of hungry hooligans in search of the elusive after school snack. Your husband, who has memorized every sports statistic since the beginning of time but can’t remember how to turn on the oven, needs a little sustenance.” But worry not, he has something that’ll save the day.

Before you know it, the show’s co-host tries to replicate “good old-fashioned pie, just like mom used to make” by slathering white sandwich bread with margarine and stuffing it with canned pie filling and cheddar cheese. This doesn’t fool you, but you want it anyway. What is happening?

Sadly, the actual SuperSnacker no longer appears to be in production, but the good news is that plenty of brands have since made their own version of this product. This model from GreenLife features an eco-friendly nonstick coating.

 

5. Ronco Showtime Rotisserie and BBQ

If the phrase “Set it and forget it!” sounds familiar, you have most certainly seen the Ronco Showtime Rotisserie and BBQ infomercial, because that phrase is repeated (and yelled by the audience) at a brainwashing frequency:

If your favorite pizza topping is “meat lover’s,” this product is for you. Prepare yourself for the dizzying amount of meat you can jab with a rotisserie spike:

You can make a delicious 6-pound chicken. Not one, but two, delicious rotisserie chickens. A scrumptious, flavorful 6 1/2-pound standing rib roast. A dozen tasty, juicy lamb chops. A 6 1/2-pound caramelized honey ham. Three extra-thick healthy salmon steaks. A 6-pound mouth-watering pork loin roast. A tender, flavorful Texas-style tri-tip. Eight full-sized beef and chicken kebabs. A big 10-pound golden brown turkey. Enough hot dogs and sausages to feed a small army. A luscious-looking 6-pound leg of lamb with rosemary. Four freshly caught whole trout. Four half-pound juicy hamburgers. Three naturally flavored rock Cornish game hens, and everyone’s favorite, baby back ribs.

I assume this is not meant to be cooked all at one time, but it’s nevertheless impressive. And best of all, you can still buy one right now for the low price of $169.99! You know that amazing rotisserie chicken aroma at the grocery store? You can have it in your home. Forever.

 

6. Ron Popeil Pasta Maker

As you likely know, today’s market is flooded with automatic pasta-makers, but Ron Popeil deserves credit for the infomercial that convinced us all we absolutely need fresh pasta in under 3 minutes.

“It’s so easy, a child can do it,” he insists as he dumps ingredients into a bucket before the pasta shoots out like Play-Doh. There’s linguine and fettucine in all the colors of the rainbow, thanks to the addition of spinach, carrot and beet juice:

The Ronco brand of pasta machine hasn’t survived against the latest competition, but if this infomercial has made it absolutely necessary that you have an automatic pasta extruder, the product below is a great alternative.

 

The preceding material was compiled and edited by Brandon Castillo.  The Editor-In-Chief is Gary Bryan.  The Radio Genius Show Prep Service is licensed for use on-air only by subscribing radio stations.  Other means of redistribution is forbidden.
© 2020 – Radio Genius Show Prep