Born on this day!! Composer Steve Reich is 86. Singer Chubby Checker is 81. Actor Alan Rachins (“Dharma and Greg”) is 80. Singer-guitarist Lindsey Buckingham of Fleetwood Mac is 73. Jazz saxophonist Ronnie Laws is 72. Blues singer Keb’ Mo’ is 71. Actor Hart Bochner (“Breaking Away”) is 66. Actor Peter Frechette (“Profiler”) is 66. Actor-comedian Greg Proops is 63. Actor-singer Jack Wagner is 63. Drummer Tommy Lee of Motley Crue is 60. Actor Janel Moloney (“The West Wing”) is 53. Singer Gwen Stefani of No Doubt is 53. Singer Kevin Richardson of the Backstreet Boys is 51. Singer G. Love is 50. Actor Keiko Agena (“Prodigal Son,” “Gilmore Girls”) is 49. Actor Neve Campbell is 49. Actor Lena Headey (“Game of Thrones”) is 49. Singer India.Arie is 47. Rapper Talib Kweli is 47. Actor Alanna Ubach (“Legally Blonde” movies) is 47. Actor Seann William Scott (movie “Dukes of Hazzard,” ″American Pie”) is 46. Actor Shannyn Sossamon (TV’s “Moonlight,” Film’s “The Rules of Attraction”) is 44. Guitarist Josh Klinghoffer of Red Hot Chili Peppers is 43. Guitarist Mark King of Hinder is 40. Actor Tessa Thompson (“Westworld”) is 39. Country singer Cherrill Green of Edens Edge is 39. Country singer Drake White is 39. Actor Meagan Holder (“Pitch”) is 38. Actor Christopher Marquette (“Barry,” “Joan of Arcadia”) is 38. Singer-actor Ashlee Simpson is 38. Rapper A$AP Rocky is 34. Actor Alicia Vikander (“The Danish Girl,” “Ex Machina”) is 34. Actor Noah Schnapp (“Stranger Things”) is 18.

THIS DAY IN GENIUS HISTORY

1226 – St. Francis of Assisi, founder of the Franciscan order, died.
1863 – President Lincoln declared the last Thursday in November as Thanksgiving Day.
1922 – Rebecca L. Felton became the first woman U.S. Senator when she was appointed to serve out the term of Senator Thomas E. Watson.
1929 – The Kingdom of Serbs, Croats, and Slovenes formally changed its name to the Kingdom of Yugoslavia.
1955 – Captain Kangaroo and The Mickey Mouse Club premiered on television.
1974 – Frank Robinson was named the first African-American manager in major league baseball.
1990 – East Germany and West Germany united to become Germany, 45 years after being split into two countries at the end of World War II.

Today Is: Blue Shirt Day/World Day of Bullying Prevention, Child Health Day, National Consignment Day, Supreme Court Opening Day, Techies Day, World Day of Architecture, World Day of Bullying Prevention, World Habitat Day

TODAY ON TV!
Primetime TV (All Times Eastern)

CBS – 8:00 – The Neighborhood  /  8:30 – Bob Hearts   /  9:00 – NCIS  /  10:00 – NCIS Hawaii
NBC – 8:00  – The Voice  /  10:00 – Quantum Leap
ABC – 8:00 – Bachelor In Paradise  / 10:00 – The Good Doctor
FOX – 8:00 –  911  /  9:00 – The Cleaning Lady
CW – 8:00 –  Mysteries Decoded  /  9:00 – Mysteries Decoded

TV Talk Shows

Jimmy Fallon: Naomi Watts, Jacob Batalon, Justin Thomas, Sam Hunt
Stephen Colbert: Nancy Pelosi, Armando Iannucci
Seth Meyers: Constance Wu
James Corden: Rosie O’Donnell, Marcus Mumford, Utkarsh Ambudkar
Watch What Happens Live: Jerry O’Connell, Rebecca Romijn
Live with Kelly and Ryan: Jerry O’Connell, Rebecca Romijn, Colin Hanks
Kelly Clarkson: Gwen Stefani, Melissa Villaseñor
Drew Barrymore: Nicole Richie, Gayle King, Tony Dokoupil, Nate Burleson
Jennifer Hudson: Howie Mandel

WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN’ ABOUT? Here are today’s PPM-Friendly Topics!

QUESTION: What is “SITTERVISING,” and should you do it with YOUR children??? It’s radical: You allow your children to play with OTHER CHILDREN w/o YOU!!!! Whoa!!

 

QUESTION: Ready to play the “How Many Times Have They Been Married Game??” Click through for a list of celebrities who have been married MORE THAN 4 TIMES!!!

 

QUESTION: STILL trying to figure out why TREVOR NOAH left the DAILY SHOW?? Maybe it’s because… he lost 75% OF THE AUDIENCE!!! Let’s try some “comedy” now!!!

 

QUESTION: What is this, REDNECK AIRLINES?? Picture of a wing covered in DUCT TAPE goes viral, and then we found out the REAL REASON behind the tape!!!!!

QUESTION: Why is the new official Royal Portrait like a DAGGER in the hearts of HARRY AND MEGHAN??? Because.. THEY’RE NOT IN IT!!! Kiss that crown goodbye!!!!!

Nick Cannon Welcomes 10th Child

Nick Cannon took to Instagram Friday to share that he and Brittany Bell have welcomed their third child together, son Rise Messiah Cannon.  “Another Blessing!!!” Cannon began his lengthy caption.   “As my journey on this planet becomes more and more remarkable and unfathomable, all I can do is thank God and continue to ask the Most High to order my steps. He has given me stewardship and dominion over a family dynamic that to some is unimaginable. But more importantly he has blessed me with loving individuals to guide me with care through this purposeful life. I am so indebted and grateful for the matriarch energy in my time of need,” he wrote.  In Cannon’s Instagram post, he shared a video of Bell’s baby shower, as well as a picture with Bell and their two children, son Golden, 5, and daughter Powerful Queen, 19 months.  In mid-September, Cannon welcomed his ninth child, a baby girl named Onyx Ice Cole Cannon. It is his first child with model LaNisha Cole.  Cannon shares twins Monroe and Moroccan with ex-wife Mariah Carey.  He is also the father to twin sons Zion and Zillion with Abby De La Rosa, a former radio personality. She is expecting her third baby with Cannon this fall. Recently, Cannon welcomed baby boy Legendary Love with model Bre Tiesi. He was also the father to a child with Alyssa Scott — son Zen, who died at 5 months in December 2021 after being diagnosed with brain cancer.
**********He named his kid “Messiah?” Does he think he’s God???
*********One of his baby mamas is an ex-radio personality.. so ladies, you too can become a “carrier” for Cannon!!!
*****He has now caught up with Mick Jagger, but Mick spread his ten kids over a new more decades!!

ARod Sends His Best To Bennifer 2.0

Alex Rodriguez shared his support for Jennifer Lopez after her wedding to Ben Affleck.  “With Jennifer, look, it was a good experience,” he said on the Friday episode of “Who’s Talking to Chris Wallace?” when asked about her marrying the actor after their 2021 split.  “I wish her and the children, who are smart, and beautiful and wonderful — I wish them the very best,” Rodriguez, who is the father of daughters Natasha, 17, and Ella, 14, continued of Lopez’s 14-year-old twins, Emme and Maximilian.  “I would say I’m glad I’m not going to ever be a presidential candidate because you would hammer me,” he jokingly concluded.  He began dating Lopez in 2017, proposing two years later.  As the pair planned their wedding and blended their families, they ultimately called it quits in a March 2021.
*******She must still have the combination to his safe!!!
********He just missed out on being husband number four!!
*******He should start out slow in politics.. maybe he can be The Rock’s running mate!!!

Prince Harry Trashes Camilla In New Book

A royal biographer says she wrote a new book to show how Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Harry allegedly mistreated new Queen Consort Camilla.  “I decided that somehow I had to rebalance things,” Angela Levin said on the British talk show “Lorraine” on Friday of “Camilla,” which hit bookstores this week.  “One was ‘The Crown,’ which I felt had been really cruel to her, and the other was actually Prince Harry, who had said really nasty things about her, too.”  Harry’s strained relationship with his stepmother has been well-documented in the past.  Writer Tom Bower alleged in his book “Revenge: Meghan, Harry and the War Between the Windsors” that part of the reason Harry and his wife, Meghan Markle, fled the UK was because of “racist” comments Camilla allegedly made about their then-unborn son, Archie.  “According to Harry, someone speculated about what his future child would ‘look like.’ In one version, Camilla remarked, ‘Wouldn’t it be funny if your child had ginger Afro hair?’” the author wrote.  Insiders also claimed in June that Harry was still not a fan of Camilla because he had not forgotten his late mother Princess Diana’s comments about the queen consort having an affair with his father, King Charles III.  Diana once famously said, “There were three of us in this marriage, so it was a bit crowded.”
*********Harry also explained that “Camilla” is short for “Cruella!!”
*****The old “wicked stepmother” narrative is standard in royal fairy tales!!
******Meanwhile, Camilla keeps asking Charles, “Now that you’re king, can you have some of these people beheaded??”

Ed Sheeran Ordered To Stand Trial

Ed Sheeran has been ordered to fight his case in front of a jury after he was accused of copying elements from Marvin Gaye’s hit 1973 song, “Let’s Get It On” on his own track, “Thinking Out Loud.”  His legal team previously asked Judge Louis Stanton to dismiss the case on the grounds that the similar parts of the song were “commonplace.”  However, they were hit with bad news after Stanton ruled on Thursday that the case is heading to court.  “There is no bright-line rule that the combination of two unprotectable elements is insufficiently numerous to constitute an original work,” Judge Stanton said, according to Billboard’s initial report.  “A work may be copyrightable even though it is entirely a compilation of unprotectable elements.”  Structured Asset Sales (SAS), which owns a partial stake in the famous song, is seeking $100 million in damages.  According to the original suit, SAS alleges Sheeran’s chord progression in “Thinking Out Loud” is too equivalent to “Let’s Get It On.”
***********OK, so it’s the same chord arrangement. But the melody is.. well, it’s pretty similar. But.. Ed is white!! Does that make a difference?
CHECK OUT THE MASH-UP!! YOU be the judge!! LISTEN HERE.
*****Marvin could care less!! He’s in Music Heaven, jammin’ with James Brown!!!

Bruce Willis Denies AI Report

Bruce Willis’ agent has denied reports that he has sold the rights to his face.  It was recently reported that Willis, in the first deal of its kind, had sold his face to a deepfake company called Deepcake.  A spokesperson for Bruce told the BBC that he had “no partnership or agreement” with the company.  And a representative of Deepcake said only Willis had the rights to his face.  Willis announced his retirement from acting in March after being diagnosed with aphasia, a disorder that affects speech.  Deepfakes use artificial intelligence (AI) and machine learning technology to create realistic videos – often of celebrities or politicians. For actors that can no longer act, the technology has the potential to be game-changing.
*****Did Bruce Willis REALLY deny it?? Or is THAT  a deepfake?? We’re confused!!!
******We’re getting closer and closer to “Matrix” territory!!!

 

Ripping The Tabloids (Throughout the week, we’ll give you the stories from that weeks tabs!)
**Please Credit Publication!

 Calista Dithering Over McBeal Comeback – (National Enquirer) 

Flight Calista Flockhart has TV execs all steamed up as she drags her high heels over a return to Ally McBeal, sources tell the National Enquirer. “She hasn’t totally said no, but she isn’t jumping into the project, either. The issue is whether she wants to dive back into the Hollywood goldfish bowl, which is what the Ally McBeal reboot would certainly require. The show bosses are doing everything to persuade her right now. But it’s 50-50 at best.”

 

STUPID NEWS

Baby Couldn’t Wait!

An Ohio woman said her fourth child turned out to be especially impatient and ended up being born in the driveway of her home.  Alyson Michael said she felt stomach pains about 1:30 a.m. Tuesday and around 3:20 a.m. she determined she was in active labor.  Michael said she started toward the stairs, expecting her husband, John Smith, would be driving her to the hospital.  “I was like at the bedroom door and that’s when I felt it and I was like, ‘Call 911 and get me downstairs,’ and that’s when I knew we weren’t making it,” Michael told WEWS-TV. “She was wanting to make an appearance. That’s for sure. She has three brothers she has to keep up with.”  Medina County sheriff’s deputies arrived at the home first and assisted until a Westfield Fire and Rescue crew arrived.  Michael was loaded into an ambulance, but EMTs quickly realized the baby was going to be born before they could make it to the hospital. Clara Mae Smith ended up being born in the driveway of her family’s home.
***********Her nickname is “pavement!!!”
********When she grows up, she’ll be a “parking stripper!!” (too soon?)
TOPIC: Everybody’s been told the story of their birth!! What’s YOURS???

Stray Dog Caught Stealing

Security cameras at a toy store in Brazil were recording when a stray dog wandered into the business and attempted to steal a teddy bear.  The footage, recorded by cameras at a toy store in Tabatinga, Sao Paulo, shows two dogs approach the front door of the store, and one of the canines goes inside.  The dog grabs a stuffed sheep in its mouth and attempts to leave the store, but the toy gets stuck in the doorway and the canine leaves it behind.  Marcos Soler, the owner of the store, said he discovered the security camera footage after a customer told him a dog had been inside the shop.  Soler jokingly made a “wanted” poster for the stray dog, which he dubbed Pacato.  See the video HERE.
********Hey… a dog’s gotta eat!!
******Sounds like that pooch needed a hog!!
******”Pacato” means “One who steals!!”

Florida Man Swims In His Own Living Room

Footage of a Florida man swimming in a home that had been flooded by Hurricane Ian, against public health advice, has gone viral on social media.  The video, filmed in Naples Park, depicts a man swimming across a room, with household objects floating in the background, to reach a staircase.  Posted on Twitter by hurricane specialist Zach Covey, who warned the behavior is not safe, the 11-second clip has been viewed more than 1.1 million times.  Covey wrote: “Hurricane #Ian brings catastrophic storm surge to Naples, Florida with water moving into houses. Social media channels show residents SWIMMING in the surge in their houses.  “DO NOT DO THIS. You don’t know what may be in this water, including chemicals!”  Hurricane Ian crashed into Florida’s west coast on Wednesday afternoon as a Category 4 hurricane with maximum sustained wind speeds of 150 miles per hour.  See the video HERE.
*********Hey, it’s Florida!! We’re just glad he wasn’t DRINKING the water!!!
******He got some in his mouth, and said, “This tastes like Florida!!”

Chocolate Bunnies Ordered To Be Melted Down!

Lidl has been ordered to destroy its chocolate bunnies after it lost a court battle with Lindt.  The Swiss firm had argued its gold-wrapped Easter rabbit deserved copyright protection from a similar product sold by the budget supermarket.  Switzerland’s highest court agreed and overturned a ruling last year by the country’s commercial court that had sided with Lidl.  It ordered that all the imitation bunnies be destroyed, but suggested the chocolate needn’t be wasted and could be melted for use in other products.  “Destruction is proportionate, especially as it does not necessarily mean that the chocolate as such would have to be destroyed,” it said in a summary of its verdict on Thursday.  It said even though there are some differences between the two products, there was still the possibility of confusion for consumers.
*********Yes, in the spirit of Easter, let’s go to court!!

 

STUFF THAT’S COOL AND VIRAL

 

VIDEO: COAST GUARD RESCUES AFTER HURRICANE IAN.

VIDEO: MISSING CAT RINGS DOORBELL

 

A LIST FOR MONDAY

 

What car are you based on your zodiac sign?

NYPOST

 

ARIES (March 21 – April 19)

Honda Civic

Built for speed but safe enough to withstand rough rides, the Honda Civic has much in common with the cardinal sign of Aries.NurPhoto via Getty Images

Adventure loving, thrill chasing, accident prone Aries will find much to love in the responsive and reasonably priced Honda Civic recently voted “more fun to drive than a sports car.” This cardinal fire sign is the sort to paint their bedroom wall the color of a blood clot so the candy red of teenage dreams is an obvious choice for both exterior paint and interior upholstery.

 

TAURUS (April 20 – May 20)

Toyota Highlander

The Toyota Highlander, like the average Taurus, equally prioritizes comfort and aesthetics.Getty Images

The 2023 Toyota Highlander is described by Car and Driver as “practical, comfortable, and stylish” which is not only how Taurus folk view themselves but is the standard by which they judge yoga pants, throwing stars, recliner chairs, air fyrers and sex swings.

 

GEMINI (May 21 – June 20)

Dodge Viper

Vipers, like Geminis are built for speed and shaky when it comes to taking direction.Getty Images

Geminis think and speak at a lightning clip making a sports car the right car for the people of the silver tongue and lead foot. Indecisive and easily distracted, Gemini can relate to the Viper whose critics say falters when subjected to constant stopping and starting. Similarly, Geminis often struggle to focus their minds and quiet their mouths and the Viper is known for terminal brake problems and a complicated steering system.

 

CANCER (June 21 – July 22)

Toyota 4Runner

Cancer rules the fourth house, making the 4runner an apt ride for the crab contingent.MediaNews Group via Getty Images

Cancer is ruled by the moon and represents the archetype of the mother. Thus a “cool mom” car with off-road capability, moon roof options, and a reputation for being both durable and adroit at safely ferrying a six pack or more of children, fits the bill for fashion and function. Further, Cancer governs the fourth house of home and ancestry, making the 4Runner a numerical, and natural fit.

 

LEO (July 23 – August 22)

Cadillac Escalade

Cadillacs are the preferred mode of transport for American royalty.Getty Images

Cadillac made its debut on August 22, making the company itself a regal, high shine, mane shaking Leo, and folks, it shows. Named for the Frenchman that founded Detroit, Cadillac is synonymous with high end luxury and has been the transport of choice for many a member of American royalty including Elvis “The King” Presley, who famously gifted caddies to friends and strangers, and Hank “King of Country Music” Williams who breathed his last in the back seat of his baby blue Cadillac.

 

VIRGO (August 23 – September 22)

Ford F150

Ford’s F-Series pickups are the top-selling vehicles in the US.AP

Virgo is the most common zodiac sign and Ford’s F-Series are the top selling vehicles in the US. Further, Virgo rules the sixth house of service and if that house were a vehicle it would undoubtedly be the pick up truck. Virgos and trucks; here to help, built for work, happy to move your mattress, and game for an al fresco slumber party under a sky with minimal light pollution.

 

LIBRA (September 23 – October 22)

Fiat 500X

FIAT and Libras are both devotees of “la dolce vita.”NurPhoto via Getty Images

Italian automobile manufacturer FIAT aims to deliver “la dolce vita” on four wheels. Libra is ruled by Venus, planet of beauty and decadence and natives will resonate with the company ethos of, “The FIAT^® Brand inspires all its drivers to live to the fullest and indulge in all the sweetness and beauty this life has to offer.” Bonus, Fiat scion and sharp dressed debauchee Lapo Elkann, who once faked his own kidnapping to pay off a drug debt and looks absolutely aces in a vintage suit, is, of course, a Libra.

 

SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21)

Rolls Royce Phantom

The Rolls Royce Phantom suits a Scorpio just fine.NurPhoto via Getty Images

The official description of the Phantom Series according to Rolls Royce legitimately reads like a Scorpio placing a personal ad, “An untameable legend. An icon for icons. Phantom Series II exists alone at the apex of luxury. Its unprecedented design is an evolution in mastery — invigorating the mavericks who command its splendor.” Get a room for pete’s sake make sure to towel off the splendor when your’e finished .

 

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 21)

Ford Bronco

Both the Bronco and the sign of Sagittarius are inspired by equine energy.The Enthusiast Network via Getty

The sign of Sagittarius is symbolized by the centaur, a half horse, half man figure from Greek mythology. The Ford Bronco is named in honor of the half tame horses of the American West. Same same but different. Archers are free wheelers and ceaseless seekers and since its release in 1966, the original Bronco has become “an icon of an adventurous lifestyle and off-road capability.” Can dig. Aesthetically speaking, the new model is trash but we raise a glass and a spur to the OG design.

 

CAPRICORN (December 22 – January 19)

Toyota Tacoma

Capricorn is a Cardinal earth sign and the Toyota Tacoma is built for off roading and earth traversing.Bloomberg via Getty Images

First released during Capricorn season in 1995 the tagline of the latest generation of Toyota Tacomas is “Unmatched. Unequaled. Unstoppable.” Which, coincidentally, is the mantra that all Capricorns repeat while tying their shoes, masturbating, lifting weights or negotiating a raise.

 

AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18)

BMW iX5 Hydrogen

As an air sign symbolized by a water bearer, Aquarius can get downn with the BMW iX5 Hydrogen.DeFodi Images via Getty Images

Represented by the mythical water bearer, Aquarius is innovative by design as it the new BMW iX5 Hydrogen which utilizes hydrogen fuel cell technology and bills itself as a beacon of sustainable mobility. Aquarius is ruled by standard upholding Saturn and utterly upheaving Uranus, similarly, the iX5 “combines the best of both drive worlds: the locally emission-free mobility of an electric vehicle and the unrestricted suitability for everyday use.” The status quo and the promise of progress, all together under one hood.

 

PISCES (February 19 – March 20)

DeLorean

Like Pisces itself, the iconic DeLorean is dreamy AF and utterly impractical.ZUMAPRESS.com

Pisces is synonymous with escapism, dreams and the collective unconscious making the DeLorean, a whip made famous as the time machine in the “Back to the Future” franchise, a fine fit. Flux capicitor not withstanding, the OG DeLorean was known for its gull-wing doors and under powered engine, apt for a sign that soars high on the feathers of imagination but falters when it comes to forward momentum. In its latest in(car)nation, the DeLorean has been reimagined as a sleek, environmentally friendly electric model. The company poetically claims, “The Future was never promised. Reimagine today,” which coincidentally, reads like the motivational note a Pisces tapes to their bathroom mirror in the wake of a break up.

 

The preceding material was compiled and edited by Brandon Castillo.  The Editor-In-Chief is Gary Bryan.  The Radio Genius Show Prep Service is licensed for use on-air only by subscribing radio stations.  Other means of redistribution is forbidden.
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